I cannot tell you how many times I started this entry and how many times I was interrupted. I started writing it yesterday morning, because yesterday it was a day to remember, a sad anniversary that created a void in the life of a dearest person. And the moment I was writing this line, and I was interrupted by the sound of an incoming fb message, I once more confirmed what is a given in our relationship.
The idea behind yesterday’s/ today’s entry is to go back to the events of last year, recalling the helplessness in the sight of loss and the embarrassment of my ways. O.K. I stole this idea! It was suggested by my writing competition and finding myself in a barren environment, I went ahead and stole it.
Looking back seems to be the theme of the days. Two old friends reentered my life in a most mysterious and unexpected way. Two friends from my LA school days, reminding me the missed and uncompleted dreams of my youth, the turns passed up and paths abandoned. But I don’t wish to sound cheated. Life was generous with me; life adjusted itself to my whims, and my ways. And when it could not follow me I invented a parallel challenge right out of literary and art contexts.
As I celebrate one year, plus few days, of blogging, I select one verse that encapsulates all that it was for me: “Nebulous flames in crystal cages”…one year later. This prophetic verse said it all. The unrestrained flames cerebrally manifested and reflected in multiple viewings through the crystal cages of a parallel reality. What has been described as 'special bond' and 'my continuation' has in reality, and in the course of this year, undergone as many changes as the folds of each of the personalities involved. Because we are both pleated more times than we can perhaps stand, rumpled from events and choices and character. And we are both more in number than the grains of sand and each one fails gloriously trying to contain it and count it up. And we both raise mirrors to reflect the other’s image, believing that this would reflect substance. But the mirror is void of reflection and only what is remembered holds quintessence.
One year later and silence echoes substance. One year later and this shared deep understanding contains the burden of knowledge and lived experience. What you think, feel, are afraid of, escape from, I’ve done it all, accepted it all, regretted it all, loved it all, and now reliving it all. One year later and a new chapter is commencing that will finally take me back to what I was meant to be. All this aided and supported by the inspiration contained in the memory of a past that is now incarnated in the body of an equal .